Missing First Period

Here's me ranting on a Friday morning instead of going to school.

I'm sitting here in my study room, on the computer, reading through emails and facebook messages from various correspondents who like to gossip very much so. I admit, there are times where I respond in negativity and decide to join in. But now it's become the same old story every day and I've become so sick of the dramas going on. No kidding, drama either likes to stalk me or it just loves to knock on my door and give me a huge surprise, although I already knew it would be coming. I could tell people to shove it all up their kulos but I'm not that rude, Am I?

I currently hold so much gossip myself because people choose to tell me things, but I would never disclose that sort of information to others just because it's not my story to tell. But there have been times where some people would tempt me to spill, and I try heaps not to. What's with girls and bitching about the same things over again? I mean, yes that was totally unfair but you talk about it all the time that I don't care anymore, infact the rest of us don't care anymore. I also thought that a group of people at school who I know would be better at keeping things to themsleves...but apparently not, even the boys have mouths as big as girls do.

At the moment I'm just trying to keep a low profile from being talked about. The only attempt I've done is doing things that won't make people assume things. Because if I do things that make people assume, then I'd probably become frantic even though I know it's not true. It would be my fault that people make assumptions so if I don't do it in the first place, there would not be any new brutes introduced.

Whop! Time to get ready for school.

The Family: Practise Mode

I think that if I were to pick a day of the week to replay like groundhog, I would seriously consider making that day of the week a Tuesday. My favourite day of the week (of course besides Friday nights and Sunday mornings). The name or word 'Tuesday' is much to plain to describe this day so my class and I have decided to call it 'Music Day' only because of the fact that it's probably THE best subject at our school who no one seems to pay attention to. I actually really don't believe that there are many in the school to appreciate music as much as us. I hate to think that our school has been over populated by the over-egoed jocks who pretty much have no brains but are lucky enough to pass because of their athletic skills. I'm not kidding.

Music is not the only reason why this has become my favourite day of the week. It's because from 9am-11am and during every lunchtime, I have the previllage to be surrounded by these incredible people (everyone in the music class) who bring me nothing but happiness and inspiration. Though most of them are a year younger than I but I do believe that they are just as mature as I am. There are only 3 year 12's who are currently studying VCE Music (I know it brings be great sadness to reveal the unappreciation throughout the year level) whom include Rochelle (Rochet), Carilto (CJ) and I. Of course we haven't formed a group together, but our Muso band members are exactly the same.

On behalf of Carlito and Rochet, I must say that we love these boys so much for their courage, loyalty and support towards us year 12's and our upcoming exams which we get marked on for our ATARS!!! But yes, we owe the rest of our lives to Alex (Lexi), Nathan (Nathanial) and Kostas (unfortunately he has no nickname) (and everyone else) because of the hard work that they have put into making our repertoires possible. This probably sounds all cliche...but it's just so true that we couldn't of gotten any further than where we are now with music because these boys have given up their time, energy, enthusiasm, sweat and pretty much their all for us. I couldn't thank them enough. Although I have to think up of a thoughtful present which should hopefully make up for what they've done for us. Any ideas? I'll probabally just keep thinking I guess.

Some of these pictures weren't taken by me, and most are of them practicing for the lunchtime concert we held today for the school. They make me happy. Oh and I almost forgot that David (instrumental teacher) has been such a great help to us all too. Thanks guys.

(Though this guy is not doing work at all here ^^)

..To end on a rude note...

Couldn't Help Myself With This One

This is for you.
Elijah Jordan Wood - too good looking.

The age difference between you and I depresses me.
All images via Always and Forever

White Blank Page

On Saturday after work I made my way to meet up with my Mother at Borders to find some great novels worth reading. I hadn't found any within my price range so we just ended up hanging out as mother and daughter. Had a quick trip to JB to look for music and as I've previously bragged, I bought a Mumford & Sons CD with no intention to throw it out because of the impression it left me with. Mother found the sale table and she took out The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and ended up purchasing them for $25.

Since we where already at level 1, we made our way to Dangerfield and I bought a pair of Vintage Striped Braces, mens. They fit perfectly well and apparently I had purchased the last one which was the best once. Although the 'check-out-chick' had shown me her radical memory skills and asked me if I walked into the store a week ago to buy something else. Of course I hadn't but my dear friend Rochelle had been telling me about her bandanna she purchased from there a week ago, and just this quick note that apparently we both look alike; front to back. It may have or may not have been her but that was the most hilarious coincidence I've had. She didn't seem so elegant but she was such a sweetheart and very polite. Kudos to the check out chick.

One more thing that I must do is start purchasing CD's for next years Soundwave oh yeah! with Anberlin, MXPX, New Found Glory...and some other which I am yet to discover of course...I'm pretty bad actually.

Tremble Little Lion Man

My first pay went to buying myself a CD and a pair of braces [or suspenders...or however you would like to name them]. I was planning to buy and try a few more CD's which were way beyond what I listen to, and I probably wouldn't understand any of it [you better know what I'm talking about]. There was so much more that I felt an impulse to buy, but thankfully my conscience and self-control formed an awesome duo and saved me hundreds on that day. Ever since I got payed, my bank has just been abundantly flowing with mula and I'm so thankful. But I've been feeling a tad generous lately and I don't know who I should shout or buy something for. Is that bad?

Well anyways, Mumford & Sons has a brought a different spice to mymusic liking. Most of the songs, for some reason, remind me of The Lord of The Rings because of the music they play at hobitown and also because of the similarities in their accents. The album sounds like folk, bluegrass, country with a bit of alternative in the two singer's voices. It's incredible, and they're all talented as they change their instruments of choice to play with from song-to-song. I don't recall much the sound of an electric guitar in their songs except when they use a violin bow to play it, nor is there a drum because most of the beat is just footwork and they all sing and harmonize to the melody and the mixture of the bouble bass and madolins is just so lovely.

Too many songs to pick from but here's a youtube link to their new hit, Little Lion Man.

65 Cents For Lung Cancer Please?

Yesterday my friend asked me if I had 65 cents in my wallet to contribute to buying a packet of cigarettes so that she could waste her breath on such a drug. I'm completely aware of how this might look bad to her, me not wanting to give her a tiny amount of change so she could buy something she really wanted. But consider this, I do care for my friends and if it has to do something about their health and it's deeply concerning then I'd rather not be involved.

By giving them money for what they want, this is an act of support and yes - I will support my friends through no matter what but if it's just to spend money on something so SERIOUSLY deadly, I won't do it. If advertisements and articles of such fatal consequences will not reach their minds to quit, then they should just remind themselves everyday of the idiot they've become by saying things such as "Hey, I've got 2 lung cancers left. You want one?" or "Can I slowly kill myself and buy that packet of harmful cancers please?" You would seriously think though that people could take their own life seriously. But some just don't get it and some like my dear friend know about the consequences but out of an unbreakable habit, they'll keep going until it's too late. By then, even I won't save them, no one can.

It's not only a packet of smokes that damage and influence our youth of today. It's the drinking behaviour that has risen to prove that drinking is okay because you'll feel somewhat cooler and better. I admire those who decide to be sober, but who's there to admire? I understand that it doesn't exactly say that "you should not drink" in the Bible, but if you do it just to become a bit more unperturbed and easy, it just goes to show how uncomfortable you really are with being yourself. First of all, wine was used as a form of medicine or used for special celebrations but if it’s “just for fun” then I guess you’d probably need to work on your personality so that you’re just as fun when you’re sober. For years I’ve been offered to try but even when I did, I didn’t even do it properly. I’m not strange; I just don’t support the idea of it. A close friend said to me once, “But you’re Blue. No one can ever change you” and that is a powerful quote in itself to be so grounded into your faith that people actually realize the better in you. I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard a conversation starting off with”hey what did you buy for tonight?” “I’ve got a 20pack of liver cirrhosis in the fridge” “sweet”.

My intention is not to condemn those who choose to do it. I just felt like saying this because if you just think about it, it’s quite the funny thought. Just don't lose your individuality to things that make you seem better to others.

A House By The Lake

Recently becoming the quiet person that I am now, I have realized that I have longed to move out of this house for quite some time. Although now is probably not that best time but I'm still considering it. I was thinking of where I shall have my dream house and imagining what it could look like and it has been such an enjoyable task. Right now I think that peaceful, desolate places are probably the best for me considering I am just a home-body who enjoys little company but of course many are welcome. I know that if I were to buy a property, I'd never survive to maintain the household and so there is the option of finding someone who is as beautiful as your lake house surroundings to share your land with. But let’s scrap that out of my picture. My parents have considered living in Canada and their houses are beautifully structured but I’m sure there will be a time where I’ll need to move out. The thought of having a house in Australia is well of convenience to me so that visiting friends won’t be such a difficult process.

As much as I long for that perfect house now, I have thought carefully about the pros and cons to it. I mean the negative possibilities that withdraw my attention from the idea. Might I just add a little bit of information about myself that is slightly embarrassing? I believe everything I see in thriller films. So things like; too many trees within a short radius of my house, huge glass windows, double story houses, bushy lakes and muddy water have feared me of living alone. I’d like to keep clear from dark murky places in case a probable murder transpires of it. What? Just saying...

I’m not too fond of timber houses because if it were a lifelong house to keep, I’m sure even the toughest wood couldn’t fight the inevitable assail of hungry mites. Therefore, I would like to have it made of brick. I am a little silly for being so cliché, but of course I’m not asking for a white house with a picket fence. I want one of my own with everything I could love neighbouring me. Also, I doubt I’d like to live in an old pre-build house. Demolishing is expensive, but if that’s what I have to do to posses such a beauty of a house then I guess it’s my only option to take. A chimney would be perfect for the summer decor and the winter’s heroin, being the solitary thing that would make the house feel like my own.

I should remind you that I do want a studio house with open space instead of a house of many halls. Things would feel much safer that way too. Having my favourite colour scheme of warm, earthy browns, yellows, peaches, orange, greens and pastels would bring me such happiness. The vintage touch of reused furnishings is quite appealing to me and hopefully I’ll have some random little quirky trinkets lying around on shelves and what-not as a display. Now imagine a random tree in the middle of my huge living room with special little losties that have made their way onto, willing to hang from it. I know, it sounds silly, but I indeed find it such a delightful thought.

I’ve given much thought about this and of course being the only one who wants to live in such a house for myself, I have to limit my pets to one member. Preferably a dog because they are the most grateful and loyal companions that anyone could have. Plus why ask for more when there is a whole adventure waiting outside my door filled with amazing wildlife (again a figment of my imagination, but who cares?). Take a row in the lake? Maybe. But I doubt I’d swim in it for I’m afraid of what could be lurking in its murky depths. There are some VERY blessed people whom live in on the other side of the world with a remarkable scenery just out front and I'm completely envious!

Just typed something good and then my blog refreshed itself and I cannot retrieve anything I typed...bummer! I guess I'll have to wait for tomorrow to retype the whole thing again. What I had to say was so lovely. Shame I don't remember what I wrote.

Jeric's El Grande Party

http://loveithateitdontcare.tumblr.com/

As impatient of a person that I can be, I've no patience on waiting for this Wednesday to arrive for me to post these pictures from my best friend's notorious 18th birthday party. It seemed an appropriate date as that is of course his actual birthday. I guess my second part to my birthday wishes shall be revealed here. It was an awesome night and to be honest, one of the greatest nights I've had. Although this particularly important evening had it's ups and downs but there was plenty of fun to pass around to forget about it. I liked seeing everyone dress up for the occassion. His school friends, ex-workmates, and church friends were all invited and it was great to see long lost twins reunited for the first time in their lives.

Unfortunately, some improper behaviour had been exposed by few from people that you would never expect. It was a little disappointing and very irritating as our concerned parents began to rant about few events which should not be named had happened. To my dear Jeric, I am terribly sorry for the unsuitable behaviour which some may have decided to act during your party, but let me remind you of all the other friends who listened intentively and respected your wishes as you so politely asked of us.

Despite all the mishaps, it was an awesome night...of course until the end where I became tired and almost sick from "partying hard" and seeing things rubbed into my face like I didn't matter anymore. But 5 hours of sleep did me some good. Thank goodness for night times.

As another birthday present for my dearest, my best friend, Jay and I sang a song for him to show how much he meant to us. I find it cute and charming that Jay decided to use my ukulele as his instrument of choice for our performance. Sadly, some people couldn't hear me because the microphone was too weak to hear, but it was alright because apparently Jeric could he me quite clearly. Thank you so much for having us, and you are just a huge blessing to our families. There would not be any LOL moments in our lives and so I thank God for you.

(Trust father to take horrible photos and show off his incredibly bad photo editing skills! Now rediting them seems impossible)

You Think It's Only God Who Sees The Soul

Dorian Gray: [as he observes his portrait] How sad...
Lord Harry Wotton: What? What do you mean?
Dorian Gray: How sad it is... That I shall grow old, but this picture
will remain always young. My hair will turn gray, my skin will
wrinkle, and my teeth will rot. While my picture remains exactly as
it is now. If only it were the other way...
Lord Harry Wotton: Dorian...
Dorian Gray: If it were I who would remain always young and the
picture would grow old. For that, I would give everything...
Lord Harry Wotton: Dorian...
Dorian Gray: Yes, everything! For that... I would even give my soul.
Basil Hallward: [smirks and raises his glass] To long life.

I've recently become quite fond of Benjamin Barne's physical attractiveness. Finally getting my hands on an illegal copy of this movie has been very rewarding for his good looks seem to lack of nothing. Although the explicit nature of his character in Dorian Gray becomes an unfortunate turn-off, the movie wasn't all that bad. Well besides the inappropraite scenes of his most pleasured moments with both genders.

I wouldn't enjoy ruining the whole movie for you but I'm so tempted to post it here.

Dorian Gray's character portrays a naive pre-adult who seems to lust for eternal youth, reversing roles with his portrait. The satisfaction of living forever young has brought him through trials of love, guilt and power. Confiding in Lord Harry's advice has lead him to be the man whom Harry wanted to be but did not persue. Of course, irreversible consquences had taken place as the result of Dorian's conceited behaviour. This movie ended tragically, and though some must not think it all great. But I loved it.

All movie stills are not mine - Ace Show Biz

Grr...it's taking a while to get paid!!!

My Weakness Now...

Having a job couldn't be any more convenient for things such as these beauties...

Shoe fettish? by thelittlequirks featuring Jeffrey Campbell shoes

Rubi Shoes/ Cotton On by ~ale-alejandro~, $30
Jeffrey Campbell - Karl - Beige Wool Clog at Footnotesonline Women's..., $95
Spotlight Heel in Brown, $80
L.A.M.B. Vogul - Natural Leather, $345
Seychelles Women's Countdown T-Strap Pump, $90
Marc by Marc Jacobs Women's 605645 Clog: Shoes, $147

Inspiration: Since this Wednesday is the only day I can quickly shop for shoes for Jeric's I decided to post the shoes and booties that I'd like to live in my wardrobe someday. But as for this Saturday, I'm thinking of Black suede wedges.

Making An Effort

To contribute to this post after many weeks of absences, I'm probably just going to fill in with some things that have happened during these few weeks. I can't exactly explain it although I have an image of an terrifying ride. Like I've gotten onto a ride and once the buckle is placed, it's way too late to reconsider it. This ride I'm on looks a little bit like it and right now, I feel the need to get off but I can't so I have to wait until it's all over, until I can take this buckle off, until my heart begins to beat at a steady pace once again. It'll take a while, but after that I'm sure I'm ready to move on, hopefully to a much smaller and less extreme ride of my life.

One thing I must inform you is that I've become permanently employed! After ranting on about wanting a job, I finally got one. There's so much I would like to save up for! Like mine and Molly's trip to Canada and the US next year. The pay is amazing and in fact, I'm still overwhelmed by how I have come to the possession of this job. I applied for the position at the start of the year only to receive a negative email in my inbox explaining how I was rejected. But they recently called for an interview. During the interview it turned out that I was already employed and the interview was just an availability day...crazy. Wooh! My first job in retail. If your wondering, we sell fabrics and all crafty things to lighten any one's day up.

Of course you know that we had a video shoot for Jeric's birthday party but I was just letting you know that a preview of it has been finally released and you can see it here. Though, I'd rather you not because I am a little embarrassed of my dance moves with a bag of salt and vinegar chips. I'm starting to feel really excited for his birthday which is this Saturday. I need to buy shoes and a jacket...oh and hopefully a toy hat from Build-A-Bear so I can turn it into a small facsinator. Oh and one thing that I forgot to mention is that I'll be performing for him with my my greatest pal Jay. The song I'll be singing is called Count On Me by Bruno Mars. It's a really cute best friend song to sing. I've been having this ridiculous diet so I can fit into my dress for the night...I bought it 2 sizes too small, only because I couldn't resist it's material and design.

My school mentor has changed. I couldn't have found anyone better than my English teacher, Ash. If I were to explain what he's like, I wouldn't know where to begin. He's a real asshole who tells me I have crap hearing, but he's a really good teacher and so far I've been receiving amazing grades for my English class. But he's still a real bitch of a teacher...in a cool way. Oh and good luck to me for my next creative SAC which is tomorrow.

Previously speaking of Jeric's party, I've been granted permission to hold my own 18th at my house. I've already chosen the attire which of course is semi-formal. The amount of people I wish to invite is too long so I have to figure out whom I am to invite. I would like to have some sort of colour theme in the house to make it look a little bit interesting but I'm not quite sure. So there's my youth/youth band friends, my table clique group, the group of girls at school, my tiny music class and Zak and Andrew. Now you see the dilemma. Of course my parents will be there for supervision...or to "try" to be hip. Music and dancing is all outside and inside is the food...mmm. Well that's all I've got so far that's planned up. Soon I'll be needing a request for a play list.

Playing netball again! We are called the CHINCHILLAS!!! And for our first game we lost miserably. Not really, we were laughing so much that we lost. Best game but as a result, I was sore all over the next day. This Friday's a no-go because I have to practice a song with Jay for Jeric's. But they have my full support. All I know is that we have a lot of training to do, but for the team we want to have fun. The guys throw a little bit of football skills into the game like diving for the ball...wrong sport! But in the end, we all laughed.

Roly's 18th was last Friday (on the night of my first netball game) and it was really sweet. A dinner with a group of close friends at a local restaurant. It was really nice to hang out with them again. I do have some pictures to post up...but they're not all of them due to the fact that Molly and I had to leave too early. I wore something that was pretty and I had added a little bit of comfortableness to it but unfortunately I could take a picture of it...so maybe another day.

Reached a proper level of tiredness

So many sleepless nights have past by so slowly, and tonight is one of them. As a result of my recent late night/early morning sleeping patterns, I have put very little effort into studying and SAC's and all that. This night in particular is different. I can finally feel my tiredness kicking in. Perhaps it's because I've mastered the battle I've been fighting with my mind, or perhaps it could be the amount of physical activity I put into cleaning my whole room out once again. I haven't quite finished either. Another reason to organise a date for my spring cleaning and throwing out lifeless items that lie around in my closet.

I have once again realised that I have failed to be consistent with my posts, and I apologize but I just haven't any time to sit down and create well constructed material, worthy enough to be posted. There is much effort to put into a post...besides the thinking and editing photos. I'm not at all wise with time management and each time I type something and leave it so I can accomplish other priorities, I seem to forget what I was rambling about and so I get this impulse to delete the whole thing. I've made quite clear that I'm a little tired on this night but since I was on the computer, I had to do something. My pity goes to my blog for having such a lazy owner such as I.

Hopefully I can post tomorrow...and when there is a lovely day, filled with sunshine and cool breeze surrounding this town. My apologies for this boring and irrelevant post.